Self Care and Self Love After Trauma

Trauma is real.

It makes us vulnerable to the world, and by doing so, we react in ways that are out of our own control. When your mind and body take control, it can hurt others in ways we don’t mean to.

Often, this leads to a heavy sense of shame, embarrassment, or depression.

While I won’t speak on my experiences with trauma, I can speak on what I do after being triggered and having an intense reaction to situations.

Based on the way I tend to react, I have trouble stepping back from whatever is currently happening and am left vulnerable and highly sensitive for several days, and even weeks, which can unfortunately lead to depressive states.

Self Care and Self Love are so important for stopping yourself from falling into what feels like a never ending hole of depression.

However I would like to first ask any of you who need help and/or have help to make sure you are taking your medication if you have it, see a therapist regularly, and talk to a trusted individual if you need help.


Suicide Hotline – 800-273-8255 (877) 726‑4727. This hotline is available between 8 a.m. and 8 p.m. EST

Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741. This service is available 24/7 

Panic Disorder Information Hotline: 1-800-64-PANIC (72642)

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)

Teen Line: 1-310-855-HOPE (4673) or 1-800-TLC-TEEN (1-800-852-8336)

Now, let’s talk about self care and self love!

Personally, I find that self care isn’t just taking a bath and ignoring the world, but rather taking care of my body and setting myself up for future success, and still finding a lot of time to treat myself when necessary.

Self care in an immediate sense may be trying to calm yourself by paying mind to your senses – wear something soft and fuzzy in a color you like, open the door and smell the outdoors, or drink some hot chocolate!

However, just doing that until you feel calm doesn’t solve the larger problem. It is really beneficial to help be grounded in the world in order to be mentally capable of finding productivity in working on solving whatever problem you are facing.

The other side of self care is making decisions that will help you both now and in the future, and setting yourself up for success and happiness.

While this kind of self care may sound less “fun” or “comforting”, I can assure you that it really is worth it. While putting on fuzzy socks and eating a really tasty snack definitely helps me to get a good center on myself and return to the present, it is also incredibly helpful to eat a salad, go on a quick jog, or talk to a therapist.

Working on the proactive side of self care helps to put a handle on preventing many future problems.

Self love stems from self care. We should, and DO care about the people we love, and that should include ourselves. How should we be expected to live as humans without caring for ourselves? And how can you truly care for yourself without loving yourself?

Like it or not, self care and self love are vital. Even as we push away love for ourselves for whatever reason, it will only bounce back and hurt us more. Living through a world of pain will only grow to deeper suffering if we refuse to love and care for ourselves before anything else.

Put yourself first, and you can figure anything out.

– mad hattered

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